June 26, 2024
Mostly, I’m completely okay
with the fact that I am a constantly evolving human being. No, that’s not a
euphemism for getting older. I don’t need to pretty up the fact that I am
indeed getting older. Generally speaking, most people believe that getting
older is better than the alternative. And it is—but only in the present moment.
But that is a topic for another essay.
No, I am evolving in ways that
have brought me to rethink a few things that I had considered to be solid fact.
And in a few cases, I am not ashamed to admit that I have had to tweak my
understanding to be a bit less rigid, and a bit more accepting. We are all of
us different from each other in a lot of small, and perhaps defining ways. But
we are more alike and have more in common than we sometimes want to admit.
I used to say, and proudly, “it’s
not that I don’t suffer fools gladly. It’s that I don’t suffer them at all.”
I understand now that that
thought is too rigid for the person I am evolving into. One needs to accept
that fools abound, and most of the time, not only do they not know they are
fools, but they also truly can’t help the fact that they are.
The biggest step in my
evolution at first made me sad, when I understood it had happened. But now, I recognize
that this realization is enormously freeing.
I used to believe that if one’s
reasoning was sound enough, and cogent enough, one could successfully get
others to see the errors of their ways.
And now I understand that no
amount of persuasion, however sound, logical, or right will ever convince some
people that the thing they hold as truth really isn’t truth at all.
People will realize that
someone they believe in isn’t worth their faith, or they will not. They will come
to see that they’ve taken the wrong fork in the road, or they will not. And I know now that where the change needed
to happen was not in other people, no, not at all.
The change that needed to
happen was in me. I needed to understand that what others eventually do or don’t
do really is none of my business. And it’s not my job. I don’t have to bear any
responsibility for the asinine thinking of others.
Wow, what a relief!
It means that I no longer bear
the weight of a responsibility that was not mine to begin with when it comes to
how those around me behave. And it also means that what other people think of
me has no power over me whatsoever.
Love me or hate me, it’s all
okay as far as I’m concerned. The important justification is how I feel about
myself. It doesn’t matter if you live your life the way I would approve, or
vice-versa. It only matters that I live my life in accordance with my own moral
compass.
It probably took me longer
than it should have to come to this point, this epiphanous moment, but that’s
okay, too.
You’ll be pleased to know that
our table gardens appear to be faring well. Do you recall that I, at the
request of my husband, bought some green-bean seeds online? Well, they seem to
be thriving. And I guess I wasn’t as careful as I should have been, because a
few of them are vine-plants as opposed to bush plants. A quick trip to the
dollar store to purchase a decorative trellis has, hopefully solved the issue.
We might end up using strings to help them further. We’ll just have to wait and
see.
As well, those beans are
flowering like crazy, as are our tomatoes. We’re getting a good amount of rain,
so that watering those table gardens isn’t an every-night necessity. The last
and final part of the process that will guarantee a good yield this year is
completely out of our hands—which kind of ties in nicely to my thoughts above.
But it being out of our hands
doesn’t mean we are powerless. No, even as I write this, I am praying for bees.
Lots of geminating bees.
Love,
Morgan
https://www.bookstrand.com/morgan-ashbury
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