December 27, 2023
For those who keep it, I hope
you all had a very good Christmas this year. I hope your celebrations were all
that you had hoped they would be, and more.
The three of us here in the
Ashbury household were invited to a Christmas Day brunch at the home of our
son. It was the first time we’ve brunched with them, and the first actual Christmas
day we spent together in many years.
This has always been a very busy
season, and one in which it can be difficult to co-ordinate schedules efficiently.
When David and I were first
married, we used to alternate spending Christmas Day between my family, and his.
My mother wasn’t a fan of “mixing the families”, as she was, in her later
years, as much of a hermit as I am today.
To ensure we included
everyone, then, often meant spending Christmas Day split in half – breakfast at
one place and then supper at the other. In the middle years, and after we moved
to the small town that we’re in now, we would host a Christmas day feast that
included my in-laws as our guests. By then, my mother had passed, and my
brother had his own well established Christmas traditions, in which we partook
on the day after Christmas, which here in Canada is known as Boxing Day.
After our nest had emptied, we
fell into a new routine; Christmas day at home, Boxing Day at my brother’s house
for brunch, and then two more gatherings within the week. Usually, dinner at
our son’s with his three children and then one with our daughter and our second
daughter and the rest of our grandchildren.
Now here we are again, trying
to find a new normal way of doing things. My brother and his wife are both gone
now, and the only constant celebration is being hosted by our second daughter at
the earliest possible day after Christmas that she and our daughter can coordinate
their schedules. This year it will be on January 8th. As you can
imagine, we were very happy to visit with our son and his entire family for a
few hours on this past Monday.
As much as my heart would like
to throw a big party for everyone, I am long past the time of being able to plan
and execute a meal for a dozen plus people. I do contribute a few dishes, of
course, to the dinner Sonja hosts. I was also able to take two dishes to my son’s—one
of which was the carrot pudding my mother used to make.
The recipe for that pudding is
tucked up safely, wrapped up in so many warm and happy memories gathered over
the span of my lifetime. We always had it as our desert when I was a child, and
for every Christmas that my mother was alive. I didn’t attempt to make it
myself until a few years after my mother passed. It’s not a complicated
mixture, but it is a steamed pudding that when it’s done looks more like a
cake. Boxing Day when my kids were small was spent at my brother’s, and I
remember well that first time I brought the pudding there. He took a spoonful
and then closed his eyes and sighed. “Yes, this,” he said.
That first time was special. It
really was like having Mom with us again.
Our three children always
loved that dessert. So much so that one November, when he was about sixteen or
so, our younger son, Anthony, came to me with a concerned look on his face. “I’ve
been thinking,” he said. “It’s been almost a whole year since you made that
Christmas pudding, and I’m worried that you might have forgotten how. I know
that Grandma and Grandpa are coming for supper. So I think you should make that
pudding in the next few days, to make sure that you still have the touch. I’ll be
happy to test it, and I will let you know, honestly, if it’s good.”
Yes, I made it in November of that
year, as well as in December, for our Christmas guests. And I will be making a
second pudding to take to Sonja’s this year, as I have promised my oldest great
granddaughter—who loves it—that it will be there.
For me, socially, Christmas
has always been about family and traditions. And because that is so, I’m
fortunate to have a treasure trove of poignant memories to visit each December.
So much of the woman I became is accented by those memories.
They are what makes Christmas
time so special for me; they are, quite simply, the only gift I need, a gift
that never stops giving.
David and I wish you all a
very Happy 2024. May the New Year be the best one, ever!
Love,
Morgan
https://www.bookstrand.com/morgan-ashbury
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