January 24, 2024
There’s one more week left in
the first month of 2024. Time keeps moving as we busy ourselves with important
things, as well as things that are just for fun—or peace.
Here in the Ashbury household,
I call those moments “pieces of quiet” and I treasure them when I get them.
They’re not as few and far between as they used to be, and for me, at this
point in my life, that is the definition of fun.
I understand that I have
become somewhat boring, and that’s okay, too.
David had met someone new in
the neighborhood last fall on one of his daily dog-walks. A new family down at
the end of our street, apparently. The gentleman has a son who’s about 12. That
young man, through the dad’s negotiation, now comes and shovels our sidewalk
and walkway when it snows. My beloved is happy to give a young person work. It’s
working out well now. But at the start of the season, David did have to remind
the father of their agreement: that there had to be at least two inches
of snow, and that, unless the pile of snow was an onerous amount, the young one
needed to do the chore himself.
Both my husband and I believe
it’s not a bad thing for children aged 12 to have to do hard things once in a
while. It really teaches so much that can only be learned that way. I believe
that children should learn as they grow how to work hard, how to focus, and to
not think they’re too good to sweat, or to get their hands dirty.
My mother-in-law once confessed
to me that if she’d had it to do over again, she would have all of her children
do dirty jobs around the house.
Speaking of snow, we do have
some on the ground. I think this is our second accumulation that has lasted for
more than a few days. But I understand that it will be melting in the next few
days—according to the Weather Network. We’ll see. I did have plans to go out
today, but with the almost certainty of freezing rain, and fog that’s already
here, I’ve decided that I can go out tomorrow.
Ten—or even five—years ago, I
would feel relatively ok driving out under the conditions we have now. But in
the last couple of years, I’ve noticed my responses behind the wheel, my
ability to maintain situational awareness, is not as good as it once was.
Translation? I won’t drive out
if things are only a little iffy. One thing I absolutely refuse to be is one of
those little old ladies, hunched behind the steering wheel, who drives all over
hell’s half acre, just tempting fate. I’m very aware that my driving days now
have an expiry date; I don’t know exactly when that will be, but I am making
peace with the fact that it will happen, likely sometime in the next few years.
My husband is aghast at this
pronouncement of mine. I’m sorry for it. Most things I can and will negotiate.
Not this. This is a definite red line I will not cross.
There’s a difference between
understanding one’s limitations, and completely surrendering to them before the
time is right. Or worse, using them as an excuse to be lazy. And I’m not just
talking about driving, here.
I do, sometimes, take a lazy
day. It’s not something that I’m known for, but there are days when all I
really want to do is read a book. Imagine that! So when the urge is strong to
do just that, I give in to it. I try not to take too many of those days close
together, because that, to me, is just another slippery slope.
I won’t use my age as an
excuse, either. Sixty-nine is not elderly, not in my book—and I hope, not in
yours. Sixty-nine with a few chronic conditions, well, maybe that’s an age to
be a bit kinder to oneself. I’ve always had a problem being kind to myself, at
least mentally. I do tend to hold myself to a higher standard, because, well,
under most conditions I consider myself one who knows better than to wallow, or
not go the extra mile, or not pay close enough attention, or give up easily, or....
well, you get the idea.
I’ve been thinking about this
a lot, lately, and I have come to the conclusion that if I really want the
world to be a kinder, gentler, place, that has to have a starting point. I
think that we all, together, can make it so.
But we should all begin by
being kinder to ourselves.
Love,
Morgan
https://www.bookstrand.com/morgan-ashbury
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