April 8, 2026
I like to think that making
assumptions about things is a practice mostly owned by the young. Or a habit born
out of laziness, when the reason is not sufficiently, nor successfully
developed or utilized. Unless one is still wet behind the ears, or supremely
narcissistic, making any kind of judgement on first look is something we tend to
outgrow over time, as we get more of life’s kaka on us.
How much time depends on the
degree of perceptiveness one possesses.
We learn these lessons almost
unawares and sometimes don’t realize we are learning them. But we do learn them.
For an easy example, as I write this essay this morning, I can see out the
window (around my ginormous monitor) that there’s a pretty blue sky, sunlight
bathing the view, and grass seeming to turn greener as I watch. A younger me
would think the day was warm outside. The current me knows better and always
checks the present temperature before going forth out of doors.
If you’re wondering, it is
currently just above freezing outside (36 F, 2C), but it “feels like” freezing (28
F, -2C).
We don’t often stop to think
about how many decisions/judgements we make in the course of a normal day. It’s
a lot. Whether to get up in the morning, and if so, when? How many pieces of
toilet paper to use. Do I wash my hands after or not. If I do for how long? Do
I dry my hands on the towel hanging on the rack, or do I grab a piece of paper
towel? What am I going to wear? This is actually several decisions: bra or no
bra and which one; which panties; long pants or skirt or do I opt for a dress;
tee-shirt or blouse or pullover sweater. Socks, or no socks, and which ones.
Slippers or shoes, or, God help me boots, and yes, which ones.
That’s fifteen (ish) decisions
before you’ve even had your first cup of coffee!
Most of the choices/decisions
we make are done by rote. At some point we’ve settled our preferences for how we
like to do things, and those choices are practically automatic. And for the
most part, these are choices that could be considered of less importance or
consequence, big-picture-wise.
Sometimes we’ll stop and
consider, and make a different choice, just for a change, but not often.
I think if we could take a
time out and study the kinds of choices and decisions and judgements we make
through a regular day, we would likely learn a lot about ourselves, who we are,
what kind of people we are.
Not everyone has a tendency toward
self-awareness. We don’t all live intentionally. We’re simply not all the same
and that’s all right because we were not designed to be the same.
We are made of the same basic
star-stuff; there are variations of design used in our assemblage, so we have
differences among us, and that was all part of the Master’s plan.
Some of the things that we, as
human beings come to loggerheads over are crucial and important matters, the
outcomes of which can have far reaching consequences to the lives and welfare
of many.
And some simply never rise to
that level.
The first trick in life is
learning how to discern between the differences that matter, and the ones that
don’t. And because we’re all not the same, those lists we each make will not share
all of the same qualities.
The more important trick in
life is the ability to come to a consensus of what qualities are essential—and which
ones really are just a matter of personal taste.
Love,
Morgan
http://www.bookstrand.com/morgan-ashbury
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