November 13, 2024
Life—if you do it right—is full
of twists and turns and unexpected results. And sometimes, unintended
consequences.
If you’re a frequent reader of
these essays, you know that I’ve often held that the purpose of life is to help
you grow. I have never preached in which direction you should grow because that
is way above my pay grade. But grow you should, so that when your course has
been run, you can look back and see that the person you have become is not the
same person as you started out being. And by that, dear friends, I’m not
referring to having begun as an infant and become an adult. That is simply a
function of our biology and nothing for which you can or should take any
credit.
By growing I mean changing the
inner human, refining the qualities that were gifted to you, so that your
finished product, the artwork of your life, may be held forth for all to see.
During the course of living my
life, and as I believe it is desirable to do, I have learned many lessons along
the way. Some of them have been very, very hard ones and have literally and
figuratively laid me flat. Some of them have been not so difficult to process. None
of them have been easily acquired. All of them have been meaningful and in some
ways, surprising.
One lesson that took me more
time than it probably should have to learn—and I am still from time to time in
need of a refresher course—is that nothing is ever as wonderful as we hope it
will be, and nothing is ever as horrible as we fear it will be.
That applies to things like
longed-for vacation trips and major surgery and anything in between.
I am not an oracle. I cannot
predict the future. I can make logical conclusions based on the premises with
which I am presented. I learned to do that in my first year of university, when
I took Philosophy. If A, and if B, and if C, then it is logical to assume D.
The fly in the ointment of that
small formula, of course, is the conclusion one reaches may be logical but, it
also at the same time may not be a representation of truth—of fact.
We all, I’m certain, can
recall decisions we’ve made along our life’s path, decisions that at the time
we thought were the right ones, only to learn in the aftermath that we’d erred.
Life has a way of using these mistakes to its best advantage. In that
aftermath, we may suffer—emotionally, spiritually, financially…. well, that
list is pretty much endless. Our suffering may be great or small, but the end
result is, hopefully, a resolve to never make that mistake again.
And we are doomed to repeat that
bad time if we don’t learn that lesson.
I know I am not alone in
proclaiming that there are indeed a few lessons I’ve had to experience more
than once in this life. I kick myself every time.
The exception of that rule is
that I often open myself up to friendships, and I hope I always will. Because
while I’ve been disappointed several times by those in whom I’ve placed my trust
and invested my heart, I never want to be a person so cynical as to
close that door. To experience a true connection with another, to share ideas,
and pieces of myself, I am willing to risk that potential disappointment.
That is truly “one lesson” I will
never learn. Because it’s not a lesson I need to learn. Cynic is not on my goal
list.
The times ahead of us all have
always been uncertain. The difference between this time and those in the past
is that this time, we are fully aware of the fact. And in real time, too.
Yes, it’s stressful right now.
Yes, it’s a challenge.
I’ve often told others to
approach situations as if you’re on a plane, and I’ll repeat that advice to you
all now. Follow the flight attendant’s directions. Put your own air mask in
place first, before helping someone else with theirs.
Love,
Morgan
http://www.bookstrand.com/morgan-ashbury
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