I would like to announce that hell has now completely frozen over. How do I know this to be true? Because this past week I took delivery of another new cell phone. This one is an iPhone, or, more specifically, the iPhone 4S.

The one good thing about this new phone, as opposed to the last new phone, the BlackBerry which it replaces, is that as far as I can see there are only 5 buttons: on/off, volume up, volume down, mute – and the little indentation button that you press to return to the menu on the “touch screen”.

The bad thing about this phone isn’t really about the phone, it’s about me. I have to learn a whole new “doo-hickey” that’s different from any other “doo-hickey” I’ve ever owned.

Did I ever happen to mention to y’all that I am kicking at the gate of 60 and that my first computer was an abacas?

Not to be too immodest, but I am proud of my accomplishments and my attitude, specifically that I am willing to at least try new things. My daughter likes to chide me that I don’t do well with change, but I think she’s wrong. As I said, I’m closing in on 60 years of age, and yet I earn my living on the Internet, do all my banking online, and have been taking on new pieces of technology as the need has arisen.

Yes, it takes me a bit longer than someone half my age to learn a new piece of equipment. But I do, eventually, learn it.

More or less.

Just before we left for our trip to Texas, I bought myself a new digital camera—something my son has told me, for a long time, that I’ve needed. This will likely be the last one I buy, not because I think I’m too old to ever get another new one. No, it’s because it appears that digital cameras are going to become passé. With all the things they can put into these new cell phones, most people already use them as cameras—and also as alarm clocks.

I have to tell you that I’ve used my last two cell phones as alarm clocks, and taking a time-limited nap has never been easier.

Mr. Ashbury was quite taken with my new camera. Or perhaps I should more properly say, the camera was quite taken by him. Once again, (as he had in Anaheim with the old one that is outdated), he absconded with my camera to the point that I didn’t get to use it for more than a moment or two—and I had to ask for it first.

In case you think I should solve this problem by getting him his own picture taking device, let me assure you I did! I gave him a new video camera for Christmas last year, a camera that takes videos or still pictures and that he loves.

Yes, Mr. Ashbury was walking around in Texas with a camera in each hand, and I do believe his biggest dilemma was which one to use at any given moment.

I can only be grateful that so far he has shown no desire to put his hands on my iPhone.

As with my previous new phone, I was able to install FaceBook and twitter all by myself. My daughter grabbed my iPhone first, of course, and made sure to install a game app on it, which she seems to feel ranks as a necessary installation. This was when she came over to “teach” me how to use the phone.

My second daughter came over the next day, also to show me how to use this new phone. One piece of vital information she gave me was concerning the black hole of data-suck. Rest assured, I know how to turn off the data, so that my various and varied “apps” only work when wifi is available.

If I need something otherwise, I can turn it on, use it, then turn it off.

Beyond that, I’ve had demonstrated for me many of the nifty functions this phone has to offer—said instructions being offered, of course, at the speed of light.

I’ve danced to this particular tune before. I smiled, and I nodded and I thanked the girls for helping me.

And I resolved that in a week or two, when I am familiar enough with this new piece of technology, and the girls are no longer paying attention, I’m going to do what any rational person would do.

I’m going to take myself to the nearest Apple Store and ask for help.

Love,
Morgan
http://www.morganashbury.com
http://www.bookstrand.com/morgan-ashbury